Friday, October 17, 2008

Rules of Statutory Construction

Doyle's Second Rule of Statutory Construction: The merits of a bill are inversely proportional to the acronymic energy of its title.
I'm talking about the catch-phrase plague that's sweeping Capitol Hill. No one seems immune. Consider Sen. Obama's bill S. 117, also known as the Oil Subsidy Elimination for New Strategies on Energy Act." Get it? The Oil SENSE Act. Heh. Just consider the staff time it took to concoct that.
The Oil SENSE Act may lack the panache of H.R. 2264, a measure that amends the Sherman Act to make oil-producing cartels illegal; that voter-friendly beauty is formally called NOPEC for No Oil Producing and Exporting Cartels Act. Heh. But this is just the tip of an iceberg we saw earlier with the USA PATRIOT Act. A DoyleReports Special Investigation -- tip of the hat to ya', Mr. THOMAS!
-- reveals myriad spin-crazy titular abominations. In the 110th Congress, there has been S. 1521, the Prevention Resources for Eliminating Criminal Activity Using Tailored Interventions in Our Neighborhoods Act of 2007' or the `PRECAUTION Act'. There is S. 1222, a timely little number called the `Stopping Mortgage Transactions which Operate to Promote Fraud, Risk, Abuse, and Underdevelopment Act' or the `STOP FRAUD Act'. There is H.R. 955, the Clean, Learn, Educate, Abolish, Neutralize and Undermine Production of Methamphetamines Act, or CLEAN-UP of Methamphetamines Act. There is H.R. 1539, the "Academic Partnerships Lead Us to Success Act, or the A PLUS Act." There is the...
Enough already. I call it BOGUS.

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